REFLECTION FOR JUNE 2012                     

COPING WITH ILLNESS 

Early in 2010 I was diagnosed with major blood clots in my lungs. I had read

a lot about clots following Dorothy’s very sudden death in March 2001. The clots shooting through Dorothy’s body were fatal and her death was instant. I 

have survived for another day, as they say! Going through this serious illness made me very aware not just of illness itself but how we find ways to cope when we encounter it.

It would be true to say that for most of us we hear a great deal about illness. A close friend suddenly faces cancer; an elderly relative moves into the acute stages of dementia; a young man with everything to live for finds himself burdened with depression: a neighbour who has never smoked in his life and who is physically fit is one day told that his liver is failing: a beautiful young woman studying for her final school exams faces, in an instant, or so it seems,  a terminal condition.

Which brings me to my friend Ian who had had severe back pain for many years. Not a day passes for Ian without almost excruciating pain at some point, despite medication. Often during the night this pain continues. It is a constant companion. Yet for all his many friends Ian is an inspiration - often the first person to contact you if he hears you need a bit of support. In all the years I have known him I have hardly ever heard him complain. His is not a “false optimism” for he is well aware that his condition is on a downhill track. But I often think that his attitude, his zest for life and his awareness of others, has in some ways lessened his constant background pain. I may be wrong, but it seems that way. His daily journey is hard, and there are many unknowns ahead for him - as there are for all those who carry constant pain in their bodies.

As I write this I am thinking not only about Ian but also about other  close friends who are coping with illness at this time. For some of these friends, like Ian, it is a daily encounter with bodily pain; for others the path is different as they have moved to that place where ordinary human communication is no longer possible, having entered the deep silence of the mind; for another it is the reality of wrestling with severe depression. In one way or another, each of them is in a place which makes them acutely aware of human vulnerability and physical weakness. And also of our shared mortality and dependence on reliable medical care. I understand a little of this because of that time two years ago when blood clots were moving freely in my own system.

And although it may be trite to say it, we all have different mechanisms for coping. Belief in a God whose love surrounds us has helped millions through the ages to cope with illness - to face it with some degree of serenity. But that is also true of millions of others for whom a faith narrative is not a conscious part of their understanding. And different religious and cultural traditions approach illness and healing in myriad ways.

When I had the privilege of living in a town-ship in South Africa, I was affected

deeply by how many of my neighbours who were in the last stages of AIDS encountered their weakness and pain. Time and again I was told by many sick folk, “we may be dying, Peter, but you know something - today we are LIVING!” “Today we are living” - is a phrase that often comes back to me. It is such a powerful truth, even in the face of great human suffering. And along with that truth, I witnessed in South Africa another truth – that illness often (not always) allows us to see the amazing  courage of the human spirit.

That is not for a moment to say that we need illness to understand more clearly our human condition, but it is to re-affirm that our essential humanity is sometimes enlarged through suffering. This in itself is a difficult spiritual and theological issue, and not all would agree that illness can enable us to enter into a deeper humanity. Many don’t cope calmly with illness and because of it become angry, frustrated and cynical about life. And that too we can easily understand, for facing illness is never a clear-cut path - even for those who outwardly appear to live with acceptance of infirmity of body or mind.

Yet as we think about this whole issue of coping with illness - whether in others or in our own life, I hope we can be consciously experiencing that somewhere, someone is walking with us.  Actually walking with us - at the level of our depths. Over the years in my pastoral work, I have seen that illness carried alone is truly a bleak journey. Even if we have only one other person understanding what we are going through it’s worth a million bucks.

Many of those who visit the island of Iona off the west coast of Scotland have found meaning in the weekly Service of Prayer for Healing held in Iona Abbey. People of all faiths and of none have shared in prayers for those who are sick either in mind or in body, and I myself, like many others, find hope and healing in the simple words of the final blessing:

                                               GOD TO ENFOLD YOU:

                                               CHRIST TO TOUCH YOU:

                                               THE SPIRIT TO SURROUND YOU.

(Details about the work and witness of The Iona Community can be found at www.iona.org.uk  If you would like anyone to be on The Iona Community prayer list the contact e-mail address is:  enquires@iona.org.uk)